Catch Up
The day after Christmas, Brian and I went to the doctor for a much-anticipated sonogram. At that point, I had experienced no bleeding for about a week and was feeling cautiously hopeful. As I posted on facebook, the sonogram revealed a healthy baby, a nearly healed hemorrhage, and an otherwise healthy, whole mama. The sono tech took her time going over each structure. I could have stayed on that table for hours soaking up the encouraging news. Finding out our little squirt is a boy was exciting in its own right, but Brian and I agreed that the good prognosis was the best news we could have asked for--regardless of the baby's gender.
The holidays came and went in a blur as they do every year. Brian and the girls were home, breaking the silence of my typical days here, for nearly two full weeks. I loved having concentrated time with them, even if it did mean taking a hiatus from blogging. I miss their presence and noise this morning.
So... I'm not on bed rest any more, but I'm not cleared for work or anything other than light activity, either. I can do laundry but not carry heavy baskets. I can take care of Kate and Anna but not lift either of them. I can do light housework but not lug vacuums or scrub floors. I can go on walks but not exercise or lift weights otherwise. I think had these been my initial orders, I'd feel restricted and useless, but coming off of two months spent on a couch or in my bed, I feel fantastic about the freedom of it all.
In so many ways, I am encouraged about this pregnancy and the life of the little person I carry. I can see how God has shown up in big ways to get my whole family through a rough patch, to heal my body, and to shelter our new little dude. I want to claim this experience as a victory with my whole heart, but even now, I remain gun shy to do so. I am hesitant to pick out anything for his nursery, look into new vehicle options (or car seat options for our current one), or allow myself to imagine life too far ahead. Because he isn't yet in my arms--plump and pink and well--I can't seem to let my guard down. And by remaining so reticent, I feel as though I'm telling God somehow that his goodness so far isn't enough, which sickens me and is so against what I want to convey. I suppose there's still healing left to be done. Thankfully, the God who has worked such wonders in the life of my family so far is capable of nursing a timid heart back to health, too.
In other news, in the week since my appointment, I have discovered that Kate has become a far different creature than the child I was caring for prior to going on bed rest. She is now every bit of 17 months old and a walking disaster. Although I'm grateful she isn't quite the climbing monkey Anna was at that stage of life, Kate still keeps the whole house hopping. Yesterday, I found her in her room standing on top of a diaper box so that she could reach her changing table and retrieve a tube of diaper cream. She had diaper cream all over several toys and both her hands before I realized what was happening. I took the diaper cream (and diaper box) away and tried to distract Kate with more constructive activities. She would have none of it. She curled up on the floor of her bedroom and screamed for a solid ten minutes. She later Godzilla-ed Anna's Barbie stuff and scattered tiny hair bands all over the bathroom floor. The cleaning and diverting she requires is constant. Because she's a year and a half old, and that sort of thing is what toddlers of that age do. I have to remind myself of that. And I really do love her...and all her chaos.
Hopefully, with the holidays past, I'll stay up on life and blogging with a little more ease. Happy New Year to all!
The holidays came and went in a blur as they do every year. Brian and the girls were home, breaking the silence of my typical days here, for nearly two full weeks. I loved having concentrated time with them, even if it did mean taking a hiatus from blogging. I miss their presence and noise this morning.
So... I'm not on bed rest any more, but I'm not cleared for work or anything other than light activity, either. I can do laundry but not carry heavy baskets. I can take care of Kate and Anna but not lift either of them. I can do light housework but not lug vacuums or scrub floors. I can go on walks but not exercise or lift weights otherwise. I think had these been my initial orders, I'd feel restricted and useless, but coming off of two months spent on a couch or in my bed, I feel fantastic about the freedom of it all.
In so many ways, I am encouraged about this pregnancy and the life of the little person I carry. I can see how God has shown up in big ways to get my whole family through a rough patch, to heal my body, and to shelter our new little dude. I want to claim this experience as a victory with my whole heart, but even now, I remain gun shy to do so. I am hesitant to pick out anything for his nursery, look into new vehicle options (or car seat options for our current one), or allow myself to imagine life too far ahead. Because he isn't yet in my arms--plump and pink and well--I can't seem to let my guard down. And by remaining so reticent, I feel as though I'm telling God somehow that his goodness so far isn't enough, which sickens me and is so against what I want to convey. I suppose there's still healing left to be done. Thankfully, the God who has worked such wonders in the life of my family so far is capable of nursing a timid heart back to health, too.
In other news, in the week since my appointment, I have discovered that Kate has become a far different creature than the child I was caring for prior to going on bed rest. She is now every bit of 17 months old and a walking disaster. Although I'm grateful she isn't quite the climbing monkey Anna was at that stage of life, Kate still keeps the whole house hopping. Yesterday, I found her in her room standing on top of a diaper box so that she could reach her changing table and retrieve a tube of diaper cream. She had diaper cream all over several toys and both her hands before I realized what was happening. I took the diaper cream (and diaper box) away and tried to distract Kate with more constructive activities. She would have none of it. She curled up on the floor of her bedroom and screamed for a solid ten minutes. She later Godzilla-ed Anna's Barbie stuff and scattered tiny hair bands all over the bathroom floor. The cleaning and diverting she requires is constant. Because she's a year and a half old, and that sort of thing is what toddlers of that age do. I have to remind myself of that. And I really do love her...and all her chaos.
Hopefully, with the holidays past, I'll stay up on life and blogging with a little more ease. Happy New Year to all!
I'm so glad you posted! I've been thinking of you all week and wondering how you are doing. Continuing to pray for you and that sweet boy whom I can hardly wait to meet!
ReplyDelete